Bashful Bladder Syndrome or Normal “Stage Fright”: How to Spot a Problem

There are many people in the world who have a problem urinating in the presence of others, or in any public or strange bathroom.  In fact, approximately 7% of the population suffers from paruresis or “bashful bladder” syndrome.  Often times, these individuals will not “go” anywhere other than their own home when they need to urinate.  However, some individuals, particularly men, may suffer from what is often called “stage fright.”  Is either one more serious than the other, and how do you know if there is a real underlying problem you should be concerned about?

Paruresis, also called “shy bladder” or “bashful bladder” syndrome, is an anxiety related issue.  People who suffer with paruresis have fearful or frightening thoughts related to using a public bathroom where either other people may hear them, or they simply cannot urinate in the presence of others.  In fact, these individuals are usually not able to go even though their bladder feels as if it is about to burst.  While these thoughts are not logical or rational, it is difficult, if not impossible, for the individual to stop the negative thought processes.

Indications that Your “Stage Fright” May Be Something More Serious

Typically, there are more men that suffer from paruresis than there are women who suffer from the condition.  This is easy to understand since many men’s restrooms have urinals that are open with nothing to block one individual from the next for privacy.

Men often have problems urinating in a public restroom due to issues like feeling inferior due to penis size, the feeling that other men are looking at their private parts, etc.  This is fairly normal, and is probably no reason for concern if the individual can urinate in other restrooms where there are stalls and a bit more privacy.

Those who have a real issue with bashful bladder syndrome or paruresis have far longer-reaching issues than this.  Often, these individuals will not use a public restroom even if there is no one else in the room.  Many go to extremes to ensure that they will not have to use a public bathroom while they are away from home.

Additionally, individuals with paruresis have frightening or stressful thoughts when they even think about using a bathroom other than the one in their own homes.  They often feel as though they have an “audience” when trying to use a public restroom, and that everyone in the room is trying to listen to them or even laughing at them.  They may also feel that those who are outside the bathroom can hear them, even though the thought is a bit silly.

Frequent Causes of Bashful Bladder Syndrome 

There are often underlying issues for an individual who suffers from shy bladder syndrome.  The person may have been the victim of aggression in a public bathroom at some point in their life, or may have had friends or even family members make fun of them while urinating.  In some instances, the sufferer may have been sexually abused as a child; children can be devastated by seemingly harmless things that happen as a child.  Someone may have laughed at them in a bathroom at pre-school; no matter what the cause, the result can be devastating to a person’s life.

Paruresis can be overcome with help.  There are things that people can do themselves that will help somewhat, but therapy to change the thought processes and desensitize the individual to the problem are often used with much success.

If you or your child find yourself avoiding liquids for hours before you go out so that you won’t have to use a public restroom, or if you find that no matter how hard you try, you still cannot use a public restroom even when no one else is present, you may have a problem that needs attention.

Tips for Those who Actually Suffer rom Paruresis

If you do decide that your problem is bashful bladder syndrome and not just a simple case of “stage fright,” there are things you can do on your own that may help.

Before you are going to be away from home for hours, drink as many fluids as possible.  Sometimes, filling your bladder with liquids will make it so that you have to go no matter where you are.

Always try to think pleasant thoughts if you must try to use a public restroom.  Focus your thoughts on work, on a vacation you are taking next week, or in any area other than the fact that you are afraid to use a public restroom.  Run water in the bathroom; not only is this soothing to the person with paruresis, it can mask the sounds so that they do not feel as though everyone can “hear” them.

Listening to relaxation exercises or music on an iPod or MP3 player can also be helpful when you are forced to use a public restroom.  Practice deep breathing and focus on each breath; do whatever it takes to help you get your mind off of urinating in a public bathroom.

Biofeedback, cognitive behavioral therapy, and other therapies are often extremely effective in treating and eliminating bashful bladder syndrome.  By training the brain how to focus frightening or negative thoughts in a new direction, the problem can usually be overcome without the use of prescription drugs which do nothing but mask the underlying symptoms.

Click below now to learn more about overcoming your paruresis or to get your free email seminar “The Shy Bladder Solution”: