Children with Paruresis: How Parents Can Help

If you have a child who suffers with paruresis (shy or bashful bladder), you know it affects not only their life, but yours as well.  Many children with this condition will not go to the bathroom at school or in any other bathroom they are unfamiliar with.  In fact, many children only feel comfortable using the bathroom at home.

It can be frustrating always trying to make sure that your child “goes” before you leave the house so that you can avoid a meltdown when he or she has to go while you are away from home.  They may feel embarrassed or afraid that someone else in the bathroom will “hear” them.  Many children suffer anxiety about using a public bathroom, but paruresis can be overcome – without prescription medications and other common treatments that only mask the problem instead of eliminating it.

Why do Children Develop Paruresis?

There are many reasons a child may develop shy or bashful bladder, and pinpointing one specific cause is nearly impossible.  It could be that your child has been teased by other children at school while using the bathroom, or even by a sibling or parent at home.  Your child may have experienced something that they perceived as frightening in a public restroom, such as someone being harassed.   Occasionally, a child who has been sexually molested will develop paruresis.

Other things that may come in to play with this condition are certain personality traits, such as extreme sensitivity and fear of inadequacy.  A good level of self-worth is important to children, especially those who suffer from anxiety issues which are common with paruresis.   Children who suffer with bashful bladder are anxious; their thoughts are often frightening or worrisome, going beyond what is normal.  Something that is completely normal and that other children don’t give a second thought to can be intimidating and stressful for a child who suffers with anxiety issues.

How to Help a Child with Bashful Bladder

There are several things you can do to help your child when he/she suffers from paruresis.  You must realize that this affects their life just as it would an adult; your child may use the bathroom several times before leaving home, so that they won’t feel the need while they are away from home.  He/she may also avoid drinking water or other liquids at school, birthday parties, ball games, or anywhere they are at so that they can avoid the urge to urinate.

To help your child overcome bashful bladder:

• Encourage your child to become involved in social and school activities.  The more social your child is and the less isolated, the better they will be able to deal with their problem.
• Ensure that your child is not being bullied by peers at school.  Talk to your child about it, and discuss the problem with teachers or even administrators at the school if other children are making fun of or bullying your child.  Bullying is a big problem in schools today; there are many online resource that offer suggestions on how to help your child deal with this issue.
• Gradual exposure to the problem is often helpful.  Have your child drink plenty of fluids before leaving home, so that the urge to “go” is strong.  You might also talk to teachers and counselors at school about your child’s problem so that they can make special arrangements for him/her to go to the bathroom during odd times when other children are not present.  Eventually you want your child to completely overcome paruresis, but this is a good idea until your child starts therapy.
• Learn more about behavior modification therapy, which is an effective therapy for many children who suffer from paruresis.

Consider Therapy to Modify Brain Waves and Thought Patterns

Many doctors are quick to prescribe medications for children with bashful bladder, but this really isn’t the best solution.  These frightening thoughts occur in your child’s mind, causing extreme anxiety and even physical symptoms.  It is important that action is taken to change the way your child thinks so that frightening thoughts are eliminated.

Most children, and people in general, who suffer with anxiety issues or “social phobias” like paruresis simply need to learn how to change frightening or worrisome thoughts into positive thoughts.  It’s important that they learn how to focus their thoughts in a different direction away from the negative.

Cognitive behavioral therapy often helps children recognize that their thoughts and fears are not warranted, and that everyone in a public bathroom is not watching or listening to them.  Once a child learns how to monitor their thoughts and behavior, they will not see going to a public bathroom as a threat.

Paruresis affects about 7% of the population, so your child is not alone.  Consider the tips and information above and help your child get past this barrier that prevents them from enjoying life.

Click below now to learn more about overcoming your paruresis or to get your free email seminar “The Shy Bladder Solution”: