Advice for Women Suffering with Paruresis

If you suffer from paruresis, you may have heard it called “bashful” or “shy” bladder.  You might have problems using strange bathrooms, or any bathroom for that matter other than the one in your home.  This can cause problems at work, when traveling, or even when you go on vacation.  You feel the need to urinate, your bladder is full, but you go into a strange bathroom and there is just no way that you can do it.  Paruresis is more an anxiety problem than an actual medical problem, and it can be cured using natural methods.

Doctors will often prescribe medications for the condition, but drugs simply mask the problem instead of dealing with and eliminating the underlying issues. If you are tired of letting your “shy bladder” control your life, you will find plenty of helpful advice in this article.

Paruresis is a Phobia

While you may already know this, paruresis is a phobia that is related to anxiety caused by fearful or frightening thoughts.  No matter how much you try to convince yourself in your mind that it is okay to use a bathroom at work, in a shopping mall, or anywhere else you may be, it just doesn’t work.

Typically, a bashful bladder is related to low self-esteem; when you develop more self confidence and self worth, you will find that it helps dramatically in overcoming paruresis.  Shy bladder is also a condition that is much more common than you may know, so don’t feel alone in your anxiety.

So many of our anxieties and fears are formed in our minds when we perceive something as dangerous, and this is exactly what has happened to you.  You may be “embarrassed” for other people to hear you urinating.  Somewhere in your mind, using a bathroom that is strange has been associated with fear, embarrassment, or the thought that you are being judged.  This makes it impossible to do your business no matter how bad you need to go.

Whenever you do consider using a bathroom that is strange, you may even suffer anxiety or panic attacks.  It is not unusual to experience racing thoughts, sweating, a rapid heartbeat, or even nausea.  In order to overcome paruresis, it is necessary to train your mind to respond to fearful or frightening thoughts in a different way, so that you stop becoming anxious or nervous when you need to urinate in a place that you are not familiar with.

What You can do to Alleviate Symptoms of Bashful Bladder

There are several things you can do to help relieve the symptoms of bashful bladder.  While it’s probably best to get treatment to completely eliminate paruresis so that you can live a normal life, there are some things you can do on your own that have proven to be helpful to many.

One thing you can do to help alleviate the symptoms is to purposely go in to bathrooms that are strange or unfamiliar to you.  After entering the room, wash your hands as though you just finished using the facilities, even though you will not.  Wash your hands, then walk out.  You can build up to actually going in to the stall, then finally you will actually use the facilities.  Take slow, baby steps and build up to this.

Another thing you can try is the “breath holding” technique.  For many individuals with paruresis, this works well to help get the flow started.  First, you want to exhale most of the air out of your lungs without taking a deep breath first.  This works to increase the levels of carbon dioxide in your blood stream, which helps to lessen anxiety and also relaxes the sphincter muscle.  Once you have exhaled about three quarters of the air from your lungs, hold your breath for 30 to 35 seconds. By doing this, you may notice that you are more relaxed and able to urinate.

This technique helps not only because the actual exercise itself relaxes the urinary sphincter muscle, but you will also be less anxious any time you enter any strange bathroom, simply because you know you have an effective technique to use.

Try music to soothe your anxiety.  Music is a wonderful medium for reducing anxiety in people no matter what causes their anxiousness.  Take your iPod into the restroom with you and listen to your favorite music as you try to go.  Not only will the music calm your mind, you will not notice how quiet it is, helping to further relax you so that you can urinate.  For many people, a quiet bathroom causes even more anxiety; while you may be happy that no one else is in the room, the fear of someone walking in while you are doing your business is enough to make the task at hand impossible.

Use a Series of Progressive Steps to Reduce Symptoms of Paruresis

While this will take a bit of time, try drinking six to eight cups of water when you know you will be leaving your home, making a visit to the bathroom likely at some point.

When you first begin, choose restrooms that have only a one person capacity so that you can be alone.  As you build up your confidence, choose restrooms that have two to three stalls, then a busy bathroom like you would find in a Wal-Mart store where there may be five to 10 people waiting to use the restroom.  Take each step slowly so that you can “condition” yourself to the various settings.

If you suffer from bashful bladder, try some of these tips.  While one may not work as well for you as it does someone else, another may be very helpful, reducing your anxiety when you have the need to go and are not near a bathroom you are comfortable with.

Biofeedback, cognitive behavioral therapy, and other techniques are proven to eliminate paruresis in most people.  The solution is to change the way your mind works so that frightening or anxious thoughts no longer dominate your mind when you feel the need to go to the bathroom.

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